"The Descomunicación, Daily Bread"

It has been thought about how many missed opportunities by not knowing how to relate? Is it not often said that this world is made for people who can relate?. Some people have that gift liked by all and there are those who despite being good people, with great intelligence, project an image distorted by not knowing how to communicate properly. Well Guix Xavier puts in his book "Neither me nor explain what I mean" when referring to the balance that must exist between communicating and relating. "Communication is a matter of skill and craft, while knowing how to relate is know to be yourself and be with others"

The communication aims to build stable relations to develop in an environment. Certainly in relationships feelings come into play, which sometimes unite us or divide us. Communication is not easy or difficult it is we who complicate things. Guix notes that there is the principle of intentionality refers to any action always has an intention and when we observe the actions of others, usually ascribe intentions that I have associated. That is why we get into conflict common, when we judge a fact, at first sight, from our perspective, from our intentions, which are not necessarily accurate.

We understand that people are not the same yesterday, nor an hour ago. We are subject to change emotional states, as a result of the situations we face. It should not be surprised when the boss is in a bad mood today and yesterday was a "bell" or the husband or wife has the same expression and tone of voice yesterday. It is important to determine how the person is here and now? How do you feel now and here? And how is our relationship here and now? understanding this is crucial, because we can be at different times, with different internal states and intentions different.

Does this sound familiar? "Pepe the manager says:" It's not like saying things to the chief operating ... I have spoken in a thousand ways and I do not understand, has 10 years on the job and is supposed to ... "" In the family, my son is 13 and is no longer the same, and not come out with us, prefer be "glued" to the computer I have said a thousand times not to leave things lying on the floor ... I do not know what happens ". In a married couple, the wife says," We have been married 15 years and every time we talk less, he has his head on the other hand, does not care what happens to me ... "

Definitely, communication is much more than a transmitter and a receiver right? One of the paradoxes, in these times, is precisely that although there is more media every time we communicate less. In curious to see how much it costs to live without a cell phone for example. It has happened to them leaving the house and bring detect that no cell phone what do we do? back to pick it up ... it's as if we were missing an ear as if the world loses color.

At work, the heads of employees often complain because they do what they are asked and contributors for their part, say they rarely receive feedback on their performance. Generally, when an employee is called to the boss's office and heard saying something like, "Come to the office I need to talk to you" this will produce a sense of fear, a feeling of guilt outside, internally ask, ' And now that something I did? This may occur because many organizations and reactivity is associated with communication of observations and sanctions. It also happens that committee meetings are scheduled to see "shooting head" of someone to relieve the guilt of some bosses. Is it the way we build trust?

The communication is full of generalities and inaccuracies. For example, one can imagine a boss telling his workers, 'We treat the customer bad "or" you're an irresponsible "for the worker's head a thousand thoughts will pass, but probably none decipher the intentions of the boss. If all people are a world apart, our attention should not cost that much to a person to understand what we're trying to say. We should be emotionally synchronized with our life at the same level indicators to decipher at first, the codes of the message. So patience is required ... if a lot of patience to understand each other better.

The issue of communication is very wide, so this time I will refer briefly to the descomunicación and one of the points raised Guix Xavier. Highlights some common interferences that can lead to conflicts between people. In this case I will cite the assumptions:

Presuppositions, is one of the aspects that characterize the human being and one of the evils associated with communication. I will try to plot it with an example cited Guix when referring to the situation that occurs in a partner who usually lunch. What if one day one of them does not call? The other person thinks, "If I called you is it will not come to lunch" because she thinks he would do in that situation. But the person who has not been called before, call happens and there is a response like this: "Oh, it did not call me that because I assumed you were working and I had lunch there." The other gets angry and says "I could have called" answer: it's like the last time you had a lot of work decided not to come to lunch, I figured you would not have time for me and would do the same ... You can imagine the continuation of this "movie". In the work place like, for example when a task is responsible for a department, not because they thought they would do the other area.

What is happening? is almost a habit to assume, we believe that there are things that are unwritten. We assume that people should be responsible, they should see things as we see them. clarify and better know what you want, how they want and who is going to do and is best to make sure you understand.

Later you will continue sharing with other common interferences in communication. What I want to leave as reflection is that we can communicate better and I'm sure even resolve many of our problems in interpersonal relationships. Let us try different roles in our review we can change. To love someone you have to know first and without a good relationship will be more difficult to achieve. Do not miss the opportunity to learn about their children, their peers, their bosses, I'm sure you'll be amazed.

Until next time!